I have wanted to start a blog for awhile. A long while. I'm kind of a blog stalker. LOL is that even a thing? I love to read other people's blogs. I have quite the eclectic taste of "regular" blogs I read. Some are mommy blogs. Some deal with loss and grieving. Some health/lifestyle blogs.
I wanted mine to be a mix of all of the above.
I am a 35 year old mother of 4. I started my "career" as mom at the ripe old age of 16. Yep you heard that right. I was a teenage mother. My oldest son is now 19 years old and finishing up his second year of college. I think I did alright. :) I also have a 15 year old daughter, a 13 year old son, and an 11 year old son. To say they keep me busy is an understatement.
I have been happily married to the man of my dreams for almost 17 years. We met on a blind date and married after only dating about 6 weeks. Ill tell that story later.
My life hasn't always been easy but I really can't complain. I've made my life into what I wanted. I have an amazing husband, 4 beautiful wonderful children, and the best friends in the world.......but I'm still not happy.
It took some deep soul searching to figure out what was wrong. I still don't know if I've completely solved it but I do know that a big part of what makes me unhappy is my weight.
I feel ugly, gross, fat, lumpy, lazy, unattractive, etc etc etc.
Something had to change.
I am 5'6" and at my heaviest I was 235 pounds. That's big. Not OMG how does she move big, but big. I was ready to do something drastic. I talked my husband into attending a seminar for weight loss surgery. Truth be told he had quite a bit of weight to lose too. He was 6'2" and about 375 pounds. He fought the idea of surgery for over a year but finally agreed to go just to listen t o what they had to say.
After the seminar I was convinced that surgery was the only way I was going to lose the weight. I made an appointment for both hubby and me to have a consult with the surgeon.
The consult went well for both of us. He thought we would both be great candidates for surgery. We had some preliminary tests to do and once those test results all came back they would submit the request for pre approval to our insurance company.
A couple weeks later I got the call. Congratulations!! Your husband is approved for surgery, but I'm so sorry you were not. What?! Why?! You'll never guess the reason.....you're not fat enough. Yep. I was devastated. I had a BMI of 39 but they consider you a candidate unless your BMI is over 40. If I had weighed in just 5 pounds heavier I would have been approved but because I was just shy of that "magic number" I was denied.
So now what? I got to play the role of supportive wife (which I was happy to do) while my husband went through surgery and recovery while at the same time going through a depression because I thought that surgery was the only way for me to get healthy.
It's been 2 months since my husbands surgery date. He has lost 73 pounds. I've been dieting and I've lost 13. :(
................To be continued
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